A conversation with my Daughter - what our children can teach us...

I've just had a great conversation with my 9 year old daughter.  Here's some background first....

For Christmas, Christina (9 years old) was presented with a massive box of e numbers (some stuff called Rainbow Dust).  It's the kind of stuff that is basically a long plastic tube of sugar that has been made into different colours, and then mixed with some chemicals that makes kids go loopy.  If you are a parent - you know the stuff I mean.

Anyway - She comes into the room and says (with her best puppy face on) - "Daddy - can I have a rainbow dust?"

At this juncture - you have a number of options as a parent.  You see, you don't want to dash the hopes of the little mite, and at the same time you don't want to seem a push over.  All this needs to be balanced with doing the best for your prodigy.  It's a tightrope.

I always find that the best initial approach is to get more information.  So I started with the following:

Dad:  "Have you had one already today?"
Christina:  "Yes."

Surprise, Surprise.  A good demonstration of truth, and delivered in the feeling that this will gain her some extra points towards achieving the goal.  Incidentally - great that she didn't just go and get one without asking - in the moral horseplay, she's ahead already.

Dad:  "When did you have one?"
Christina: "Hmm - I can't remember"

This basically translates to "quite recently."  After some pondering I strike on a gem of a response - interlaced with some risk, but go for it anyway.

Dad:   "If you were me, would you let you have one?"

Christina frowns; you can see the cogs turning.  She wants to demonstrate that she can do the right thing, but she REALLY wants a rainbow dust.  Pause - Pause - Frown - Searching for an answer.

Christina:  "Probably not."

Eurika!

Dad:  "Well - I tell you what darling - it's up to you if you have one or not.  The decision is yours.  I trust you to do the right thing."

Christina:  Frowning more "OK, I won't have one.  Can I have a yogurt?"

Dad:  "Yes"

Christina:  Feeling that she has some control again. "Can I have two?"

Dad:  Proud that she is trying for more and living on the edge "Yes"

Christina:  Wanders off happy.

This of course made me smile.  It also reminded me that as adults, we often don't have the guidance of doing what we should, as opposed to doing what we want.  I wonder??  I might start asking my children if I can have that new guitar, or the extra helping of pudding on a Sunday!

Have a great day.
Rich